JAYNE ELLEN HELFRICK
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Feeling Good On A Wednesday

1/28/2015

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It’s a little late to start talking about New Year’s Resolutions. Christmas lights are packed away, vacation days seem nonexistent, and nobody’s baking anymore! If we’re going to be talking at all about the goals we set just before that last chime of 2014 struck midnight and our wobbly posture and slurred words set in, we’re probably supposed to discuss whether we’ve held up our end of the bargain. It’s January 28th. How’s that diet working out?
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I wrote down some goals back at the end of December, too. Before I start preaching, I’ll even share the list with you for all judgy purposes. 
  1. write at least one blog, story, or short piece at least once/week (NO)
  2. find better ways to make more money (NO, although I have stopped declining easy ways to make more money)
  3. quit smoking (NOPE)
  4. maintain and improve yoga practice (Look, I was doing pretty awesome and then I fucked up my toe just 3 days into 2015.)
  5. only order out 3 times/month or less (Maybe?)
  6. study ceramics/pottery (YAY!) (...That means Yes!)
  7. go on vacation (Not yet.)
  8. start running again (These goals are set to be spread out throughout the year, right?)

Two years ago, my resolutions were just two: make your bed every day and drink the coffee at work instead of buying it out each morning. These are the only New Year’s Resolutions that I’ve ever kept. Probably because they were small. Also, because they helped me build better habits. And they’re now my new model for setting goals. In fact, I think my goal for every year, or better every day, will officially be: do things that make you happier, smarter, and better. Work for progress.
How did a few pressed sheets and Folgers coffee make me happier, though? I know I don’t have a whole lot of support when it comes to making the bed. To some it might seem frivolous, a waste of time, or the worst of all, boring. I am not your mom and I will not make you make your bed, but it is how I start each day. It’s the official, “I’m awake and not going back to sleep,” status. It’s also the comforting invitation to crawl back in at the end of a (hopefully) productive day. Drinking coffee is also a (obviously) long-running morning routine. I’ve simply changed the way I do it. On work days, if I make it to school on time, I’m rewarded with free coffee. On my days off, I’m rewarded with the luxury of not putting on a bra if I put that old French press to work. Both goals have helped me wake up and face my day while saving money. Habits for progress.

Don’t get me wrong, the goals that I listed earlier all have the ability to make my life better. But I think sometimes where I go wrong is by looking too much at the distant future and setting too many restrictions upon myself. A better me (and a better you!) takes more then a flip of a switch to achieve. I’m working on it.

First, and most importantly, I’ve rediscovered things that make me feel at the same time happy, productive, and rewarded. This month, after considering enrolling in a ceramics class for several years, I’ve started throwing on the wheel. Centering be damned; I will make you a giant mug! I’m also remembering how therapeutic working long, fast-moving hours while building with my hands can be. 

Working with clay isn’t the only therapy I’ve been indulging in. There’s been more reading and less tv watching. I’m writing my own words down in my notebook rather than quotes spoken by someone more successful. It’s a bit like a renaissance of self, where I’m rediscovering some of the things that make me feel like me, the things that I’ve chosen to define myself by. And I’m finally working on them. Steps 1 and 2 of resolutions: identify what makes you feel good, then put your time into those things.
Sometimes actual things make me more productive. Getting a new notebook encourages me to write on-the-go again. The amazing typewriter I received for Christmas has me clacking away regularly, because typing’s more fun on something old and loud. I encourage “incentives.” Buy yourself a new pair of sneakers that are more comfortable to run in. Splurge on some pricey veggies and herbs if you’re trying to eat healthier. Put away a dollar a day that you keep the smokes away and fund your next Airbnb stay. 

I’m feeling better already.

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    Jayne Ellen

    heavy heeled when walking; heavy handed when pouring a drink

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