It was beautiful outside last weekend, and that’s an undeniable fact as it’s now April 16th (Happy Birthday Mama! #shameless #makingmomfamous #IWISH) and I’ve only worn NO PANTS twice. Well, in public. It got me thinking after my second hamburger and my twentieth gin and tonic, how many people in Philadelphia were having as pleasant of a time as I was? Here are my estimates: Number of Hamburgers/Hotdogs/Tofu dogs grilled: 625,014 Number of beers drank: 2,818,000 Number of cigarettes smoked: 1,500,000 Number of Sloppy Kisses: 412,001 Number of One Night Stands: 412,000 Number of Bad Decisions: 12 (On the first nice weekend of the year, a bad decision has to be like "I threw my best friend into a running car while posting it on Vine" BAD.) Number of Too-Short Shorts worn: 320,000 Number of Sunburns acquired: 320,000 Number of Frisbees thrown: 609 Number of College Kids hammered: 450,000 Number of Brunches brunched: 9,542 Number of Selfies snapped: 2,345,678 Number of Smiles smiled: 1,548,000 Come back soon, Sun. I’ve got more porches to sit on.
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Jayne Ellenheavy heeled when walking; heavy handed when pouring a drink Archives
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